A Perfectly Reasonable Question

Chowzen 06/18/2018. 1 answers, 1.808 views
wordplay lateral-thinking

I talked with an employment counselor recently, and here are some of the findings:

  1. I'm amenable to stipulations in my contract regarding:
    • Confidentiality
    • Termination Clause
  2. I can be considered "vocal," but not suitable for speaking engagements.
  3. I think "IP" should be in my job description.
  4. I prefer a cordless mouse.
  5. I exclusively use a yellow highlighter.
  6. I have excellent eyesight; ironically, I often feel the need to rest my eyes.
  7. I'm sometimes thought to be picky about my food, but most people don't like it.
  8. Though I'm very athletic, I'm opposed to team sports.
  9. I bathe several times a day and hate showers.
  10. I'm told I show signs of indifference and neurotic behavior.

What job should I try to get?

1 Answers


Mnemonic 06/18/2018.

You should apply to be

A cat.

Explanation:

1. These stipulations are the sayings "Cat got your tongue" and "Curiosity killed the cat" (credit to Astralbee and Bishop).
2. Cats can meow a lot, but they haven't yet figured out how to speak (as far as we know).
3. Cats have been known to pee everywhere.
4. Cats prefer the kind of mouse that squeaks and has a tail.
5. Cats spray to mark their territory (credit to Astralbee).
6. Cats have great vision, but spend most of their time sleeping.
7. Cats are picky eaters, but people don't want to eat cat food either.
8. Cats are very athletic, but don't usually work together.
9. Cats like to bathe themselves.
10. Cats act indifferent and neurotic.
Title: Purr-fect pun (credit to HaveSpacesuit).

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